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Wow, I haven't posted in two years. It's that myspace. Ruining the world. Not really. My default pic is tons old.
Tegan and Sara blew my mind last night.
That's all. School starts soon. Will I ever graduate? Will I ever do anything with a film degree? Ha.
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Monday, September 12th, 2005
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last night was me silvino and mark. we watched Crash. anyone who says that film is overrated is lame.
we also watched red versus blue. halo internet episodes. hilarious.
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Wednesday, August 17th, 2005
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The last couple of days have been pretty swell. Mark came back, (yes he was gone), and that was nice.
Hung out with TJ, Fresh, Brittany, Shag. Brit made cupcakes and they were oh so delicious.
I drove like 100 miles with my new car yesterday. 100,000 is coming way before ten years.
School starts soon. Yikes.
Things aren't bad at all. silvino comes back this week. he'll be 21. buying alcohol legally, gotta be fun.
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hopefully one day, my car will be fixed.
i have an option to move in with audra and pam. hmm.
we're suppose to have an l word marathon tomorrow. we've idea-ed this for like a year. let's see if it goes through this time.
there's not much to say. i want to see Broken Flowers.
Me: That should be part of the movie.
Shag: I thought you said Go! 'I said No!'
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Thursday, June 16th, 2005
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I've felt very blah since I've got back. Not many people are making it much better either.
There's a pile of dishes in the sink that has been going on for over a week. I can tell you that none of them are mine. I can also tell you that I'll probably end up washing them (like usual) cause no one else would even consider it.
Last night I was saying to Silvino that we should see Batman. Then I went to my room. Then I got up to see them all leaving for Batman, and had I not gone out there, nothing would have been said to me. Excellent. Now I've gotta find someone else to see it with.
I had lunch with Audra yesterday. Thank goodness for that. She helped me get my Dad's stuff too. Weeeeee!
I'm picking Fresh up at 5pm. 5pm can not come fast enough.
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for the first time ever, having watched the sunrise this morning didn't make me feel any better. because a couple hours earlier, i saw them take her away in handcuffs. she's in jail right now waiting to see the judge. she's got five counts on her.
man i feel like shit. it shouldn't have happened. no, i should have stopped this. something should have stopped this. and me? not even a slap on the wrist. why...
dad picks me up at the scene and jokes to the cop, "you're not gonna put this one in handcuffs?" he's a funny man. says he hopes i learned something out of this. i say, "you know i never would have been the one. you raised me differently." but i still feel guilty anyway.
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real rhapsody finally uploaded every ani difranco album, ever. this is euphoria. got the news from holli, she visited my work. i spazzed out, co workers asking if i was okay. yes, always. not every day a beautiful person comes to see me. so she told me the info and i couldn't stop grinning. CUTE.
there's this guy who worked at great steak in the food court, he got killed the other night. it just reminded how fickle people are and we've got to enjoy it while we have it. i don't have time to make grudges or create false dilemmas. i just want to be around the people who get their highs off life.
i want to be hanging out with all my friends as soon as possible.
*********
you are subtle as a window pane
standing in my view
but I will wait for it to rain
so that I can see you
you call me up at night
when there's no light passing through
and you think that I don't understand
but I do
we don't say everything that we could
so that we can say later
oh, you misunderstood
I hold my cards up
close to my chest
I say what I have to
and I hold back the rest
'cause someone you don't know
is someone you don't know
get a firm grip, girl
before you let go
for every hand extended
another lies in wait
keep your eye on that one
anticipate
dress down get out there
pick a fight with the police
we will get it all on film
for the new release
seems like everyone's an actor
or they're an actor's best friend
I wonder what was wrong to begin with
that they should all have to pretend
we lost sight of everything
when we have to keep checking our backs
I think we should all just smile
come clean
and relax
if there's anything I've learned
all these years on my own
it's how to find my own way there
and how to find my own way back home
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I spent most of yesterday with Holli and it was glorious. I can't recall the last time we got to do that. We talked about many things. Looked at cute chicks from Seattle. Laughed about the absurdity of situations we get ourselves into and the What the Hell qualities we all seem to posses.
It only takes one second of clarity to remember why you are the way you are in the first place.
We went to Audra's (me, holli, luke, audra, T, pamela, paige). We played a drinking game that we couldn't even finish even though we cheated like hell. I had to down my drink in the first round. What a lightweight. Luke and I played chess on the worst chess board ever. All the pieces looked too much alike. Good times, I felt like we all had moments of total ADD. "His name is Retard?!" T rolled around in Hummus. Paige got to quote Friends. Holli, Pamela and I kept spitting and trying to catch year old Skittles at each other with our mouths. Audra got Socrates' quote tattooed on her back in Spanish but she can't say it. I also got my green living thing from her and it's a cutie.
I love when the drama and bullshit reasons to not do something can just melt away. Cause these people, yeah, they are really good to have around.
Went to a bar with the others to sober up. HaHa. Such a different enviornment. I couldn't concentrate on anything anyone said to me and I was only really awake for Baby Got Back.
Holli called me last night to make sure I got home okay. Not a lot of people would do that. Obviously, since she is the only one who did. She's so shiggity.
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this won't wash away
One night when we were like ten, Sebrina, Brenna, Selena and I (yeah all our names rhymed how cute) we had another all night adventure. At daybreak it rained and it was muddy. We made footprints all over the street. They remained there for such a long time. I always felt the way I had that night whenever I see a sunrise. So carefree and damned thrilled to be alive.
When I look at the moon, I remember that I knew the Thai name for it before the English one, Dad told us in England. I've forgotten now. One night at the beginning of HS I felt not so good. I called Shag and we talked all night and watched a really horrible movie on TV together. We went outside and we both looked at the moon and just knowing that he was looking at the same thing as me just filled me with so much relief.
I am thinking about everything tonight.
The last scene in Aimee and Jaguar is a flashback. I was already in tears watching it. But that last scene, Felice says that she wants life to be a series of perfect moments. I feel the exact same way. I take a lot of pictures because I never want to forget the way I feel. Things change and I think way differently than most others but I see beauty in so much and there are always moments that feel so perfect to me. It reminds me that there's a picture of me as a baby in Dad's living room, all smiles and Dad says, "You were a happy kid." and I say, "Yeah, what happened to that?" and he shakes his head, "What? You're still a happy kid."
And I am. I am such a happy kid. Sometimes I forget and I let others think that I don't believe it. I don't mean to. I can't imagine ever asking for more than what I have right now.
Everything is in my hands - Melissa Ferrick
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Tuesday, April 19th, 2005
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Yeah, I got tickets to this year's Coachella, biatch. I wasn't planning on it for the longest time but last year I said if Tee and Ess played, then I would go. So, I'm not gonna back out now. Well, there are a few other bands I want to see. Coldplay, Rilo Kiley, Snow Patrol, Bright Eyes, Jem, Eisley, Dresden Dolls, Bravery...etc.
But if Tegan and Sara weren't there, no I would not be attending. Hoping for fun times with T and Payde although I'm sure I'll be feeling very fifth wheelish. Whatnot, we have ideas.
So the greatest boy in the world sewed my shirts for me so they'd all fit. His room mate, Mike and I talked about Tegan and Sara and he seems like a cool guy (based on this alone).
"We were like, we're totally fucking up straight girls everywhere!" -Tegan
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i'm watching SNL, the host is the quarterback for the patriots. it's actually pretty damn funny.
last night was Tegan and Sara with the Killers. rini and i were front row center baby. we beat out bitchy girls who had been waiting since 11am. karma.
the show was good. except...i don't like the band really. it's too loud. tee and ess are great acoustic but with the band, i know all the lyrics and i still didn't know what the hell they were saying. but i don't care cause they're the best.
the killers were good too.
awkward. if you had asked me a year ago if i ever would have thought i would cement friendships with some people and yet totally kill it with others, i'd give a funny look and say "yeah, right." i guess i never tried. or i tried too hard to be myself which people didn't like. and that made me really sad to put it simply but now, i've found comfort in real people.
after the concert, shag, silvino, mark and i went and saw the midnight showing of Army of Darkness. thank goodness for my guys. good movie even though i slept through the second act. shag and i smacked heads trying to make out in the car ^_~
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Wednesday, April 13th, 2005
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Miss Tyra Banks just totally bitched out a girl on America's Next Top Model and I loved it!
okay that's it...haha silvino just called out "Honey, I'm home"
yesterday sebrina and i had a dual with air soft guns. then brittany was like, "this looks great, with the Reservoir Dogs poster in the background" and we're like, "wait..." it was pulp fiction! so i was gonna shoot her but she didn't want me to and you know me, i'm everyone's bitch. so she ran outside and i was gonna chase after her and then silvino shut the door on me and he's like, "Kassen! You can not run after Brittany with a gun in your hand!' i was like...oh right.
there was this moment while we were watching Angel Heart and I had a Yan Yan (asian snack food) and Brit, Sil, Shag and I were passing it back and forth and i thought to myself, "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now."
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the guys and i have been working on making our place look much more like people actually live in it. heh. it's doing pretty swell. we got a coffee table finally! and a star wars chess set on top of it that you can't actually play cause all the pieces are different like WTF man. we still have no pretty green living things but someday maybe.
we are all pretty living things. these few nights have been excellent. i stay out way too late and tell myself i'm going to sleep right after work but then something happens and i am out again. i wouldn't have it any other way. removing myself from others though. people that i've always felt alienated around anyway.
start again.
i had such a strange dream last night involving my best friend who i haven't talked to since dec and a girl i haven't since in six years. weird.
luke made me wear a V is for Vegetarian shirt when i was changing out my smokey from the bar shirt. ha.
this life thing. we try so hard to make everything perfect for ourselves that merely existing isn't even enough. i love what i have. my guys and my girls, they are the greatest.
a pretty, pretty girl looks at a pretty, pretty boy.
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Wednesday, April 6th, 2005
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there are yellow legal notepad papers strewn about my room. they contain most of the ideas and rough dialogue that i used in my script. my f-ing script that i have finally finished after working on it for almost seven hours today. feeling accomplished, yes. feeling satisfied, hell no.
in other news, the guys and i went to urban outfitters last night to buy house stuff. miss ramos was there and she bought us ash trays and the best coffee book ever. it's the story of moses told through legos! freakin' legos!
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past few nights have been excellent. the night after we saw sin city, my room mates and i saw it again. ignorant jerks were ruining it for it but we tried to enjoy the beauty as much as we could.
as i left school yesterday i just drove like 10 meters to luke's place. haha. we hung out and talked. ahh he is fun to talk to. what a cool guy. i totally forget why we brought it up but i was saying something about loving winona ryder and he was like "no! she is my second wife." and i was like, "no biatch she it totally mine." and he said, "is she cheating on me?" ha.
we talked about our dads who did everything to fix out ghetto ass cars instead of getting us new ones.
QOTD
Shag: I know what Chris is.
Me: what?
Shag: She's Thai.
Me: No way! Put her on the phone.
Chris: Hey.
Me: Well, Sawaadee-ka Chris!
Chris (laughing): Sawaadee-ka. I don't really know Thai.
Me: Me either.
anyway, the point is shag and i spent our night chillin' with new cool people. yay. ^_^ and boy do i heart new cool people.
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sin city biatches
so we went to see sin city last night. ha. me, shag, silvino, luke, mark, shannon, mary, and like 4 other girls and three guys i didn't know. freakin hell was it grand. what a great movie experience. it was violent as hell. and hookers with guns. oh more please. clive owen can protect me any time. bruce willis was also perfect.
we then ate at texas station cafe. and shag was happy and anything that makes my shag happy, makes me happy. plus the guys were having the funniest arguments about adjectives and underground showers. laughing feels so damn good. with daylight savings time got home around 4am. i hugged shag and said, "you smell like angels should smell." haha. you'll get that if you also saw it.
still trying to convince dad to buy me a mustang.
i should really work more on my screenplay but i just want to crash for a bit.
the poker night was good. i had two great hands against mark. muahaha.
countdown to Tegan and Sara with the Killers: one week and six days !
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shag: let's go impair our judgement.
the other night i was preparing to sleep but then shag and brit came home along with mark and mark dragged my ass out of bed. we had fun. took a long pop quiz in entertainment weekly, brittany said something about how freaky it was that were we even answering the questions. but, you know, she thought Spielberg directed Star Wars. HeHe.
So, when owning a hookah pipe one must be sure to switch that water once in a while. shag, brit and i learned that the hard way.
last night was pretty much the same. we played mario tennis which i assure you was like the best game in the world then.
we kept laughing for no reason at all. it was swell.
i went with jaimie when she got her nipples pierced. she started having second thoughts when home dude told her how painful it was. i was like, "you're already top less you can't back out now." made me hold her hand haha. idk they look good though. these other lesbians were grinning at her while we were walking out. naturally.
my dad's birthday was the 25th. he read what i wrote on his card and he was like, "you are so sentimental." and i asked what was wrong with that and he said, "nothing, it's great."
ebert and roeper tore up D.E.B.S., i don't even care about plot at this point. i mean, i can't cause there isn't one anyway but queer movies by queer directors, i'll love it nonetheless. we all have those movies.
i went with mom to the thai market, grabbed all my favorite thai snacks. yum!
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my room mates and i are awesome and we eat too damn well.
as i am writing this, michelle tea is in town promoting her graphic novel. brittany and i would so be there if she wasn't on the bed watching home movies and shag wasn't setting up the cable modem in my room.
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Tuesday, March 15th, 2005
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Ignoring the drama, things have gone well. The Green Party at the Pride Factory was great. Except, there was drama. We made Fresh go up and do something stupid that pissed a lot of people off. I mean, besides two people, the rest of them were pissed off due to their definition of loyalty, not knowing the story. Anyway, Fresh got slapped by her ex-girlfriend who cheated on her. Yeah, this girl cheated on Fresh yet she slapped her.
So, these people were all about kicking some ass. Which they didn't do cause they were full of empty threats like most kids are. They sure can talk a lot though. Like we were going to stand around and mess with some insecure high schoolers. Kids.
Last night hung out with Shag, Silvino, Rini, Mark and BLT. We went to Casi Di Amore, ate expensive food and had a great time. Went back to our apartment and watched some Aqua Teen Hunger Forced while in the mood. Mhhmm.
BLT held my Tipping the Velvet DVD for ransom so she could make a copy of our pool key. Tsk Tsk.
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